I Watched the Great 93% Eclipse of 2017 and All I Got Was This Lousy Collection of Jokes and Quips

6 a.m.
CDOT engineers are reporting a rare incident of road eclipse. Slow moving bodies of steel on I-25 north of Denver have rendered the highway 92% obscured and invisible. It’s projected to last about five hours. Hurry out to see this amazing phenomenon.
7 a.m.
Look at that proud yellow orb, rising like it was any other day. Sucker doesn’t know what’s going to hit it.
 
8 a.m.
Sad story. My in-laws booked a room in Alliance, NE over a year ago. My wife Yvette and a couple sisters joined them for their excellent adventure. Alas today, Alliance is solid overcast. But now they’re on the road west, sun-chasing like pagans. So, it might work out.
 
10 a.m.
Stop! Thief! Some guy just ran off with my eclipse glasses! He robbed me blind!
 
11 a.m.
No way! I thought this was like global warming and Russian hacking and nuclear war with North Korea and most any story on CNN…hype for ratings.
But this eclipse thing is really happening!
1 p.m.
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Well, this is the best I could get with a phone and a couple tricks. It’s a delicate grab. It was cool to see it get darker and watch the temperature drop from 90 to 79. But, I guess totality would be a qualitatively different experience.
Yvette’s text– “So totally awesome!!!!!!!!!!!” makes me think so, anyway.
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1:30 p.m.
Fun fact. Just for today, Facebook’s blocking function is called “eclipsing.”
 
2 p.m.
Epidemiologists, oncologists,and dermatologists now wait expectantly, hoping to chart a fleetingly brief 93% drop in new melanoma cases.
 
3 p.m.
BREAKING NEWS: Large animal veterinarians are rushing to farms across America as cows, horses, and sheep stumble blindly all over the place.
 
4 p.m.
“Hey, Ed?”
“Yeah, Gus.”
“Does it seem a little dark to you?”
“Yeah, Gus. Curious, isn’t it?”
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yes!”
“LET’S STARE AT THE SUN!!!”

A friend posted to ask if Ed and Gus are transgender cows, because they sure look like girls. Damn experts.
 
5 p.m.
Eclipse humor is something the previous administration would count as a new job for the next monthly report.
 
6 p.m.
Life Lesson: Anything less than totality is cool, but, meh. Totality, though, is worth traveling.

Not So Funny Anymore

Are we still serious people and a serious country or have we become a parody of a stale comedy?

Will Rogers said, “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” Other people in other countries doing stupid ridiculous things was something we used to laugh at.

As we delve into our own preferred fictions, fantasies and mythologies – fulfilling the post-modern concept that one narrative is as good as another, facts and the truth be damned – we become increasingly more comical and tragic at once. Who would believe that the nation would be focused on Nazi’s and Communist fighting it out in Virginia? How much ridiculousness have we absorbed to arrive at the conclusion that genitals and gender are unrelated? Who could anticipate the Federal government going to bat for grown men in dresses using the public rest room with little girls? I have not even mentioned trillions dollars of wealth transfers to the 1% and laws requiring you to purchase the products of private corporations and things about which there is no subjectivity to it at all – it just is.

Increasingly the absurdities are not happening to someone else but to us – and they are growing ever less funny as a consequence.

Tick tock tick tock

It has a logical end…

Competing Cults

A Monmouth poll reports that of those who support Trump 61% say there is literally nothing he could do that would cause them not to support him.

That is frightening.

I do not recall a similar poll in regard to Obama but I would think the numbers would be similar or higher for Obama when he was President.

We now have two competing cults.

I can hear the refrain, “No, not us! We are not a cult!”

Yes, this will get sporting before it is over.

The Words That Are Never To Be Spoken

The words that shall never be spoken: “I am sorry, I was wrong.”

I know I labor this a lot – but so much of this countries ills and disasters boil down to the inability to say those words. One can only conclude that the unwillingness to even consider the possibility that one was in error and consequently that one may be accountable for a disaster is rooted in a deep sense of superiority. Short story is that nothing in this country can be fixed if people are not willing to admit they are wrong. If you can never admit to error you can never participate in correcting the error.

This affliction weighs most heavily on Democrats – for whom it appears to be genetic among even the most rational and intelligent Democrats – and now the Trump true believers.

Let me provide an example that has been repeatedly presented to me as of late – that the extraordinary political division in this country roots to Newt Gingrich. In order to avoid accountability reality is omitted.

Let me tell you a bit of history – in 1960 John F Kennedy and his campaign and family conspired with Sam Giancana, who ran the Chicago mob, to commit massive election fraud in Cook County, Illinois. That this occurred is beyond dispute. The election results from Cook County, Illinois swung the Presidential election from Nixon to Kennedy – in other words JFK committed election fraud in order to win the Presidency by conspiring with the mafia. If conspiring with the mafia to throw a Presidential election does not meet the definition of ‘subverting democracy’ then what action ever would meet that definition? Yet has there ever been an apology for this and all the disasters that it brought forth?

Yet Gingrich was the source of the political divisions in this country? Are you kidding me?

People should be abhor this – yet Democrats worship JFK.

Let us look at the results of JFK conspiring with the mafia to win the 1960 election and what it meant for the United States: the Bay of Pigs, Viet Nam, the Great Society bankrupting the country, that undeclared bankruptcy leading to abandoning the gold standard, stagflation, inflation, the petrodollar and our subsequent dependency on middle east maniacs, and the most massive wealth transfer in history – wealth transferred from the many to the very few.

One would think that some where in there someone might say the words, “I am sorry, I was wrong” and you would be mistaken in thinking that might happen.

No Democrat ever lets those words slip from their lips – but Gingrich started it? Can hear that one on Facebook everyday.

We have created mythologies and omitted reality, mythologies that have nothing to do with reality but everything to do with never having to say “I am sorry, I was wrong.”

During the eight years of Obama a $15 trillion net wealth transfer was executed, wealth that was transferred from the bottom 93% to the top 7%. Once again, the words “I am sorry, I was wrong” might come in to play. Never happens. More mythology is spun. Once again – are you kidding me? How are Democrats okay with a $15 trillion wealth transfer to the rich? Amazingly enough – Democrats defend that theft.

I do not know of any Republicans who do not confess that Nixon was a crook. I know very few Republicans who will not admit to the disasters of W. That brings us to Trump – where the Trump supporters have very much adopted the model the Democrats have had for years – “We are never wrong and we will never admit to be being wrong and we are accountable for nothing! It is all your fault!”

Now we have two entrenched groups who can never ever confess to an error – and as a consequence nothing will ever get fixed in this country until that changes.

We get what we deserve.

Buckle up…

Just Like The Rest Of The World

I am not that smart a man but I am pretty good at the obvious. What is obvious is that Obama succeeded spectacularly in fundamentally transforming America.

The United States was founded on the premise of self-governance – other people had no right to your property, your conscience or your actions. It was novel concept and unique in history. The United States had notable failures in executing on this concept however the enduring hope was in improvement and expansion to ever more people. Equality was to be found in each individual living the life they wished to live – without undue interference from others forcing them into the life that others believed they should be living.

In other words you had inherent value as a human being, value which exceeded being a mere serf to be exploited by others for material and ideological gain.

American exceptionalism was premised on the concept of self-governance. This concept of self-governance was first abused by Andrew Jackson then dramatically infringed upon by Woodrow Wilson, FDR, LBJ, and Nixon – but Obama appears to have been the final nail in the coffin.

What does America look like without the exceptionalism of self-governance? Pretty much like the rest of the world looks – government becomes nothing more than a tool to take wealth from the many and give it to the few, power is calibrated to make ‘others’ do as you wish and not as they wish and it devolves into nothing more than a fight for spoils and power over other human beings lives and resistance to others taking your property and conscience. These things are what the vision of the United States was intended to abolish – we have run right back to the moral morass that we intended to escape. You might recall a certain reference to a dog returning to its’ vomit – that is us.

Obama did succeed in transforming us from the last vestiges of self-governance to a perpetual fight for spoils and power.

Are you enjoying this? Enjoying the National Socialist and the Marxist Socialist duking it out in Virginia – then declaring that you must declare for one socialist side or the other or you are the enemy? Like how that works? Pretty much how it works the world over, except for in the United States until recently. Well, here it is – you have been fundamentally transformed into behaving the way the rest of the world behaves. Now some will argue that ‘Europe doesn’t behave that way’ – but Europe did behave that way until United States military power compelled them to stop behaving that way. With the United States now adopting the model that government is nothing more than a perpetual fight for the spoils of the ‘others’ expect Europe to revert back to a traditional model right quick.

Those of us old enough to recall the vestiges of self-governance understand what is in store for this country in the near term. Those who are too young to recall the vestiges of self-governance and have believed the mythology that it never existed hence nothing was lost in abandoning it will hopefully recover that spark of liberty.

Let us face it – life sucks for the masses when they are nothing more than pawns to be exploited for material and ideological gain.

Amazingly enough – this is what so many voted for and are willing to commit violence to gain.

Time to fix that.

I don’t Know, Mr. Krugman, What Do You Do When the President is Un-American?

Paul Krugman, former economist and current leftist flamethrower for the New York Times has penned a piece with an interesting title: When the President is Un-American. You can click to see Krugman’s thoughts on that dilemma. But, it is an interesting question which necessarily embeds other questions about what the reader believes are core concepts of Americanism.
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Anyway, I don’t know, Mr. Krugman, I kind of think Americans would hope to expect their American-minded president would not, for example…
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Bring to office a pronounced distrust of free enterprise in the private sector and on obvious greater trust in public management, and a cavalier attitude that entrepreneurs don’t really build businesses, taxes and public infrastructure do;
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Devastate the nation’s health care and health finance system by ramming through on a party line vote a complex bureaucratic scheme built on plain lies that people could keep their doctors and plans, and their premiums would go down, then, simply ignore the truth and rely on media cover when millions of Americans lost their plans, doctors, and experienced skyrocketing premiums and deductibles;
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Usher in as part of that health scheme a new federal effort to sue and force churches, religious companies, and companies owned by religious believers to break their faith and fund chemical abortifacients;
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Funnel thousands of guns to Mexican drug lords to try somehow to document a domestic case for gun control, and when the disaster explodes in American fatalities, lie and obfuscate and hide evidence from Congress until his Attorney General is cited for contempt;
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Oversee an EPA that overreaches and suffers a string of embarrassing defeats at the Supreme Court for lawless and arbitrary oppression of property owners;
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Blow away a foreign head of state in Libya with no Congressional authorization of war, no plan to stabilize the decapitated nation, and no clue what happens next;
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In that same nation, run a covert arms pipeline to Syrian rebels, and then provide lax security to the covert annex in order to present a reelection fantasy narrative of expanding peace and stability;
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When said covert operation is disastrously attacked and four Americans are killed, concoct a lie about videos and protests and hide the truth of a successful terror attack to prop up his false reelection story of expanding peace and stability;
Whisper on a hot mic to Russia’s president to relay to Russia’s dictator that he can be more flexible with Russia after his last election;
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Encourage his IRS to use its awesome powers to harass, torment, and obstruct the civic activities of conservative Americans, to avoid opposition during his run for reelection;
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Work to eliminate international sanctions against Iran, negotiate secret deals to secure Iran’s path to nuclear weapons, and bribe Iran with billions in cash, including millions delivered secretly on pallets, off budget, while lying to the public and Congress about the details of the deal;
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Trade five Taliban generals from Gitmo in exchange for a deserter who cost American lives, and have his underling declare the deserter “served with honor and distinction”;
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Ignore the sweeping results of Congressional elections and American voters rejecting his policies by declaring “I have a phone and a pen”;
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Spy on Republican candidates for president in the coming election and change security rules to enable leaking and attacks on the eventual winner;
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Immediately turn to carping and criticizing the winner, in unprecedented move of ex-presidential treachery and narcissism that seeks to thwart the new president and undermine the nation.
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The list is much longer, but this is all in a few minutes without Googling. What do you do when the President is Un-American, Mr. Krugman? Apparently you write fawning columns for the New York Times praising his excellency and savaging his critics. 
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